a psalm

surely your 

goodness

and 

unfailing love

will pursue me

all the days of my life

[psalm 23:6a]

I'm thankful that God's goodness and love pursue me...

through the green buds on trees, the warm cup of coffee after a too-short-night of sleep, the shared laughter of friends, the delicious lick of strawberry and chocolate ice cream, through the sociology class that reminds me that I have to believe in a big God, through the text messages from friends far away, through the breathtaking beauty of spring in new england

Each day, He pursues me 

and does so with unfailing love and goodness

manchester - by - the - sea, massachusetts

birthday cafecito

i decided to celebrate my birthday by combining a few things i love:

friends + costa rica + coffee

what could be better???

in costa rica, there is a traditional mid-afternoon coffee break called a cafecito. everyone stops working and gathers for coffee and a snack (usually some sort of tasty bread, but sometimes it can be almost like a meal!). so on my birthday, i headed to the grocery store and bought the necessary ingredients for the afternoon festivities!

el menú:

- que - que seco (dry cake)

a recipe my host mami taught me ...lots of flour (6 cups!!), and a few ingredients that make it delicious (orange juice and nutmeg!). usually you layer it with dulce de leche, but since i couldn't find that at the grocery store, i used some caramel sauce instead :)

- plátanos of course (fried plantains)

- brownies my roommate made for me with raspberry jelly in them - yum!

- pan blanco (cafecito is not a true cafecito without white bread)

...and coffee of course!! 

this cafecito was B.Y.O.M (meaning bring your own mug), so everyone came ready to fill up on a colombian brew of café (fair trade too!)

i had fun making little signs in spanish for the food and was blessed to have many dear friends stop by with a mug in hand for coffee & cake with me!

thank you for the birthday love!!

cumpleaños: feliz!

last year i celebrated my birthday in spanish with these dear ones

(disregard my voice in the background - i wished that wasn't there so you could hear better how adorable they are!) can you see how excited i was to hear "ALÍSA!" when i hung out with them every day during my internship?

and then got to stick my face in a cake

a year later i'm missing those little 1st graders, but not the cake in my face (it's more delicious in my mouth i would have to say)

thank you for all the birthday wishes! i am so blessed.

a week on the west coast: san diego!

i am back from a wonderful week in "sathen cali" (try to say it with a boston accent and you'll better understand how fun it is to be in the golden state with east coasters :))

[most of the team]

[heading to the border with some of the youth group from the church]

[mexico on the left, USA on the right]

[helping distribute food in a low-income neighborhood with City of Refuge]

[bus rides: always a blast with these friends]

The main purpose of our trip to SD was to learn about immigration issues, but we got to do so much more than that. We participated in the church's service on Sunday (singing songs in Spanish and English!), ate meals with Mexican church families at their homes, listened to a "Q & A" about immigration where we dialogued with the church about their experiences as immigrants, and worked with different homeless ministries. We got to help out at Presbyterian Urban Ministries (PUM) which is a little house in a SD neighborhood that serves the homeless with food, clothing, and help finding resources. I got to talk with some homeless men and women and help in the clothing drive organizing and distributing clothes. We also got to meet with a few different people who do awesome homeless ministry by picking up food from grocery stores (food that is still good, but the grocery stores can't sell it anymore) and distribute it to low income neighborhoods and extended-stay motels. It was really neat to meet with these men and women who truly love and know the poor -- and do this on a weekly/daily basis.

I could write so many things about my time in San Diego, but I think I am going to frame this post in five specific things I am thankful for. My mom gave each of us a thankful journal to write 5 things each day that we are thankful for and I am going to follow that example here (although there were many more of course!)

I am thankful for...

(1) My team: I came into the trip only knowing a few people on my team. I was nervous before the trip what it would be like hanging out with people I didn't know, but this proved to be one of the biggest blessings. I loved getting to knowmy team and learning from them throughout the week.

(2) The Mexican families I got to know: We had three meals at different families' homes and it was such a good time - great fellowship and conversation (in Spanish and English!) as well as the most incredible Mexican food. From taquitos to cactus to funny games to talking about receiving unfair wages, each meal was full of lessons and blessings. 

(3) Awesome Ministries like PUM and City of Refuge
During my trip to Nicaragua, we were given a reading packet and one of the articles particularly shook me:

I believe that the great tragedy of the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor, but that they do not know the poor...I recently surveyed people who said they were "strong followers of Jesus." Over 80% agreed with the statement, "Jesus spent much time with the poor." Yet only 1% said that they themselves spent time with the poor. We believe we are following the God of the poor - yet we never truly encounter the poor

--Shane Claiborne

BAM. I remember being so convicted of this statement: they do not know the poor. It is so much easier for me to give money to a charity then to get to know the poor in my own backyard. The ministries I got to help out with were doing exactly this: getting to know the poor. Building relationships. Treating the poor as their friends and with the same respect and love they would show to their own family. This was such a good example for me to follow and I was grateful I got to meet and watch them work!

(4) Speaking Spanish: Oh man...maybe one of my favorite parts. I remember when I was studying in Costa Rica and I longed to speak English and realized how much language is a part of one's identity. I couldn't express what I wanted to in Spanish and I longed to be known as Alyssa instead of "Alísa" (how you say my name in Spanish)...

I felt this on the flip-side in SD -- I miss hearing "Alísa". I smile differently when I speak Spanish and it brings me so much joy when I can talk in a different language -- even if I can't communicate everything I want to say. The trip showed me how much I love speaking this language and how I want to continue speaking and studying it (well, maybe not studying it right now ;) - perhaps a little study hiatus would be nice). 

(5) Immigration Q & A at the Church: On Wednesday night, we got to have a Q & A with the church about immigration issues. Most of the church members are immigrants and first-generation immigrants who all have interesting perspectives on immigration issues from obtaining documents, fair wages, treatment from white Americans, etc. 

 I love thinking about how the church is supposed to interact with the state and vice-versa, and discussing a political issue with a church congregation was a really neat experience for me. During the week I was thinking about the segregation between Latinos and Caucasians in the Church. While I realize that a big part of this is the language barrier, I am excited to think about ways the Church can foster more dialogue between people of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds. The evening Q & A was such a beautiful example to me of what that could look like -- it required honesty, humility, grace, patience, translators :), and difficult questions. But it was so good and worth it. I want more of those conversations and interactions. 

Thank you so much for your love and support!! 

To learn more about what we did throughout the week, check our blog our here!

happy 1st day of spring!!!

if you didn't know already...

i'm a little obsessed with spring. and flowers. and birds chirping. and tulips and daffodils and crocuses and trees blooming.

 the crocuses are BACK!!!

 and this year i found a new friend to enjoy blooming crocuses with! :)

why we need the pep talks

so what's next?
i hear the question in my head as i make my breakfast in the morning, as i trek to the train inbound to boston, and as i watch my doctor show private practice with friends on thursday nights.

i don't know what's next.

and in the state of not knowing, i start to doubt myself...

but i've noticed something: i don't doubt my friends who are sitting right next to me, thinking and feeling the exact same things i am. i believe that they can do it, i believe they can figure out finances and resumes and cover letters and job interviews and writing papers and saying goodbyes and finding time to go for a run on a saturday morning. i believe that they can find a place to live on their own and pay their car bills and walk across those steps at graduation.

but some days i don't believe any of that for myself.

as we sit eating our simple dinners of macaroni & cheese, soup, and anything frozen, i tell them that all those things we've learned in class - all that mind-bending stuff we've learned about racism and political philosophy and counseling theories and constitutional law - i tell them it matters. i tell them that our roads aren't going to be straight paths and we're not going to understand why we had these experiences or how it is going to impact people, and continue to impact us. but i tell them it will, someday, some how. the road is going to be curvy and unclear and frustrating, but it's going to be okay. it's going to be better than okay.

i tell them this because in saying those words out loud, i start to believe them for myself. i tell them they are going to do exciting things and impact people because of what they have learned and seen.
maybe that is true for me too
i tell them that their experiences in uganda and mexico and spain and those hard internships and cross-cultural craziness taught them something - even if they don't know what it was yet.
maybe that's true for me too
i tell them to take one day at a time (my mom's words) and that they are beautiful and wonderful and have a heart that is passionate for something - even if they don't know exactly what it is yet
maybe that's true for me too

i give the pep talks because i desperately need the pep talks. i believe my friends can write these long papers and work in schools with difficult kids and apply for jobs and train for half marathons.
but i usually don't believe that i can.

so we pull each other up - the one of us who is doing the encouraging isn't just encouraging the one who is crying in the corner. she's actually speaking the same truth to herself (sometimes i'm the one crying in the corner, sometimes i'm the encourager - depends on the day).

i could give a thousand reasons for why we need friends, but this month i'm discovering that i need friends because they are a reflection of myself and the things i need to hear and listen to. i am so blessed to do life with these beautiful friends who laugh, dance, shout, run, walk, cry, and learn with me. i want to listen to their advice, and to my own.

i want to believe in them, and in doing so, believe in myself.

because i'm limited

time is running out.

that's what i feel like saying to myself as i think about the papers that need to be written and the places in boston i want to see and the friends i want to spend time with and the plans i need to make and the responsibilities i need to take care of. may 19th (aka graduation) is just around the corner and with that comes a whole new world of decisions and questions and transitions and so many things i'm just not prepared nor ready to face.

a wise mentor recommended i read a book called The Wisdom of Stability: Rooting Faith in a Mobile Culture by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove. WOWZA. the book is short (a mere 146 pages) and says things that are very counter-cultural and provocative. he [wislon-hartgrove] asks questions that i am not used to asking myself (especially as a westerner)...but questions i must ask myself.

i remember talking to a friend before she moved over seas for an internship and she talked about how limited we are as human beings and the miracle that Jesus became limited (in human form) to meet us on earth. i had never thought of it that way before: Jesus could have done a bazillion things at once - like miracle here miracle there, evaporate to egypt then hit up turkey to save as many people as possible. but he didn't. he WALKED. he let people wash his feet. he hung out in a desert for 40 days, he slept on a boat.
Jesus lived within limits ... do we? do i??


as westerners i don't think we understand limits -- we think we can do it all and do it all well. this is one of wilson-hartgrove's biggest themes. the way he describes limits is thinking about a tree and how it grows within a specific circumference and gets the nutrients it needs through its "drip line." it's the extent of those roots that allows the tree to quench its thirst -- and only within the extent of those roots.
the book has a lot of themes i would love to talk about - but that's for another post. as for now, i am thinking about how i am a limited person, and being okay with this at a time in my life where i wish i could do everything and be everywhere, especially as i prepare for goodbyes and leaving people and places i have come to love so much.

so i must enter this phase, (every phase for that matter!!), of my life recognizing my limitations -- recognizing that i can't get it all done, i can't spend every hour of my day relishing the sunsets and eating ice cream with a friend or walking along the beach, or writing a brilliant paper for every class (that doesn't mean i shouldn't try to write well, though!!). some days i will have to spend 6 hours in the library, some days i'll have to go to bed early, and some days i just will simply need to sit on my bed and read a book even though my day's ambitions are anything but that.

i'm convinced that the way Jesus lived his life is a way i need to model, a way i need to try, however imperfectly to model in my own life. if there is anyone on this earth who had a reason to live frantically and stressfully, it was him. but he didn't. he lived gracefully and peacefully and fully. i want to learn to do likewise.