a week on the west coast: san diego!

i am back from a wonderful week in "sathen cali" (try to say it with a boston accent and you'll better understand how fun it is to be in the golden state with east coasters :))

[most of the team]

[heading to the border with some of the youth group from the church]

[mexico on the left, USA on the right]

[helping distribute food in a low-income neighborhood with City of Refuge]

[bus rides: always a blast with these friends]

The main purpose of our trip to SD was to learn about immigration issues, but we got to do so much more than that. We participated in the church's service on Sunday (singing songs in Spanish and English!), ate meals with Mexican church families at their homes, listened to a "Q & A" about immigration where we dialogued with the church about their experiences as immigrants, and worked with different homeless ministries. We got to help out at Presbyterian Urban Ministries (PUM) which is a little house in a SD neighborhood that serves the homeless with food, clothing, and help finding resources. I got to talk with some homeless men and women and help in the clothing drive organizing and distributing clothes. We also got to meet with a few different people who do awesome homeless ministry by picking up food from grocery stores (food that is still good, but the grocery stores can't sell it anymore) and distribute it to low income neighborhoods and extended-stay motels. It was really neat to meet with these men and women who truly love and know the poor -- and do this on a weekly/daily basis.

I could write so many things about my time in San Diego, but I think I am going to frame this post in five specific things I am thankful for. My mom gave each of us a thankful journal to write 5 things each day that we are thankful for and I am going to follow that example here (although there were many more of course!)

I am thankful for...

(1) My team: I came into the trip only knowing a few people on my team. I was nervous before the trip what it would be like hanging out with people I didn't know, but this proved to be one of the biggest blessings. I loved getting to knowmy team and learning from them throughout the week.

(2) The Mexican families I got to know: We had three meals at different families' homes and it was such a good time - great fellowship and conversation (in Spanish and English!) as well as the most incredible Mexican food. From taquitos to cactus to funny games to talking about receiving unfair wages, each meal was full of lessons and blessings. 

(3) Awesome Ministries like PUM and City of Refuge
During my trip to Nicaragua, we were given a reading packet and one of the articles particularly shook me:

I believe that the great tragedy of the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor, but that they do not know the poor...I recently surveyed people who said they were "strong followers of Jesus." Over 80% agreed with the statement, "Jesus spent much time with the poor." Yet only 1% said that they themselves spent time with the poor. We believe we are following the God of the poor - yet we never truly encounter the poor

--Shane Claiborne

BAM. I remember being so convicted of this statement: they do not know the poor. It is so much easier for me to give money to a charity then to get to know the poor in my own backyard. The ministries I got to help out with were doing exactly this: getting to know the poor. Building relationships. Treating the poor as their friends and with the same respect and love they would show to their own family. This was such a good example for me to follow and I was grateful I got to meet and watch them work!

(4) Speaking Spanish: Oh man...maybe one of my favorite parts. I remember when I was studying in Costa Rica and I longed to speak English and realized how much language is a part of one's identity. I couldn't express what I wanted to in Spanish and I longed to be known as Alyssa instead of "Alísa" (how you say my name in Spanish)...

I felt this on the flip-side in SD -- I miss hearing "Alísa". I smile differently when I speak Spanish and it brings me so much joy when I can talk in a different language -- even if I can't communicate everything I want to say. The trip showed me how much I love speaking this language and how I want to continue speaking and studying it (well, maybe not studying it right now ;) - perhaps a little study hiatus would be nice). 

(5) Immigration Q & A at the Church: On Wednesday night, we got to have a Q & A with the church about immigration issues. Most of the church members are immigrants and first-generation immigrants who all have interesting perspectives on immigration issues from obtaining documents, fair wages, treatment from white Americans, etc. 

 I love thinking about how the church is supposed to interact with the state and vice-versa, and discussing a political issue with a church congregation was a really neat experience for me. During the week I was thinking about the segregation between Latinos and Caucasians in the Church. While I realize that a big part of this is the language barrier, I am excited to think about ways the Church can foster more dialogue between people of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds. The evening Q & A was such a beautiful example to me of what that could look like -- it required honesty, humility, grace, patience, translators :), and difficult questions. But it was so good and worth it. I want more of those conversations and interactions. 

Thank you so much for your love and support!! 

To learn more about what we did throughout the week, check our blog our here!

happy 1st day of spring!!!

if you didn't know already...

i'm a little obsessed with spring. and flowers. and birds chirping. and tulips and daffodils and crocuses and trees blooming.

 the crocuses are BACK!!!

 and this year i found a new friend to enjoy blooming crocuses with! :)

why we need the pep talks

so what's next?
i hear the question in my head as i make my breakfast in the morning, as i trek to the train inbound to boston, and as i watch my doctor show private practice with friends on thursday nights.

i don't know what's next.

and in the state of not knowing, i start to doubt myself...

but i've noticed something: i don't doubt my friends who are sitting right next to me, thinking and feeling the exact same things i am. i believe that they can do it, i believe they can figure out finances and resumes and cover letters and job interviews and writing papers and saying goodbyes and finding time to go for a run on a saturday morning. i believe that they can find a place to live on their own and pay their car bills and walk across those steps at graduation.

but some days i don't believe any of that for myself.

as we sit eating our simple dinners of macaroni & cheese, soup, and anything frozen, i tell them that all those things we've learned in class - all that mind-bending stuff we've learned about racism and political philosophy and counseling theories and constitutional law - i tell them it matters. i tell them that our roads aren't going to be straight paths and we're not going to understand why we had these experiences or how it is going to impact people, and continue to impact us. but i tell them it will, someday, some how. the road is going to be curvy and unclear and frustrating, but it's going to be okay. it's going to be better than okay.

i tell them this because in saying those words out loud, i start to believe them for myself. i tell them they are going to do exciting things and impact people because of what they have learned and seen.
maybe that is true for me too
i tell them that their experiences in uganda and mexico and spain and those hard internships and cross-cultural craziness taught them something - even if they don't know what it was yet.
maybe that's true for me too
i tell them to take one day at a time (my mom's words) and that they are beautiful and wonderful and have a heart that is passionate for something - even if they don't know exactly what it is yet
maybe that's true for me too

i give the pep talks because i desperately need the pep talks. i believe my friends can write these long papers and work in schools with difficult kids and apply for jobs and train for half marathons.
but i usually don't believe that i can.

so we pull each other up - the one of us who is doing the encouraging isn't just encouraging the one who is crying in the corner. she's actually speaking the same truth to herself (sometimes i'm the one crying in the corner, sometimes i'm the encourager - depends on the day).

i could give a thousand reasons for why we need friends, but this month i'm discovering that i need friends because they are a reflection of myself and the things i need to hear and listen to. i am so blessed to do life with these beautiful friends who laugh, dance, shout, run, walk, cry, and learn with me. i want to listen to their advice, and to my own.

i want to believe in them, and in doing so, believe in myself.