what a birthday taught me about being loved

I turned 23 a few weeks ago.

I was showered with love in so many ways...text messages, phone calls, a breakfast date, facebook posts, flowers on my desk, lovely wine date with my coworkers, instagram pictures, a surprise lunch with church friends and work friends together, delicious family dinner and dessert, and a night at the movies.

I was so touched. So overwhelmed by the love and generosity of friends and family.

But you know what I learned on this April 12th? I learned that I have to let go of deserving love, I have to open my hands and my heart to the gifts God has given not because of my own doing, but because of his extravagant love for me...and how he expresses that love through friends and family.

It overwhelms me that I had bouquets of flowers on my desk. That friends surprised me for lunch, that I got gift cards for lattes and acai bowls, and that my mom made me chocolate cake...because those are all things I love. My friends and family know me, and know what I love and care about (coffee, friends, surprises...and chocolate of course!! among many other things :)). That is so special to me.

I forget that God knows me and hears me. I forget that he loves me for who I am, not because of my personality, or how many emails I respond to at work. I forget that he has given me friends not because I am trying to be a good friend, but because he wants to teach me what it looks like to be loved and cared for.

Throughout my faith journey, I've always been taught that God's love is a free gift. I'm realizing now that accepting this love is a life-long journey. And he has brought some beautiful people into my life to show me how.

Thank you, friends, family, for loving me.

birthday cafecito

i decided to celebrate my birthday by combining a few things i love:

friends + costa rica + coffee

what could be better???

in costa rica, there is a traditional mid-afternoon coffee break called a cafecito. everyone stops working and gathers for coffee and a snack (usually some sort of tasty bread, but sometimes it can be almost like a meal!). so on my birthday, i headed to the grocery store and bought the necessary ingredients for the afternoon festivities!

el menú:

- que - que seco (dry cake)

a recipe my host mami taught me ...lots of flour (6 cups!!), and a few ingredients that make it delicious (orange juice and nutmeg!). usually you layer it with dulce de leche, but since i couldn't find that at the grocery store, i used some caramel sauce instead :)

- plátanos of course (fried plantains)

- brownies my roommate made for me with raspberry jelly in them - yum!

- pan blanco (cafecito is not a true cafecito without white bread)

...and coffee of course!! 

this cafecito was B.Y.O.M (meaning bring your own mug), so everyone came ready to fill up on a colombian brew of café (fair trade too!)

i had fun making little signs in spanish for the food and was blessed to have many dear friends stop by with a mug in hand for coffee & cake with me!

thank you for the birthday love!!

cumpleaños: feliz!

last year i celebrated my birthday in spanish with these dear ones

(disregard my voice in the background - i wished that wasn't there so you could hear better how adorable they are!) can you see how excited i was to hear "ALÍSA!" when i hung out with them every day during my internship?

and then got to stick my face in a cake

a year later i'm missing those little 1st graders, but not the cake in my face (it's more delicious in my mouth i would have to say)

thank you for all the birthday wishes! i am so blessed.

special birthdays

what are birthdays for? i think birthdays give us the opportunity to stop and celebrate life - no matter if it's been a hard or easy year, a year of change or monotony...birthdays remind us that we're special, we're loved, and we're cared for. that's how i have come to know birthdays (and i know that this is a unique gift). i have come to love birthdays because of how my parents taught me to celebrate. and this month, it's my turn to celebrate them.

i could write a list of all the reasons they're special. i could tell you stories about the hours they spent helping me with my math homework or holding my hand when i had to get a shot at the doctor's office or cheering me on at my cross country meets or driving me all over down town for flute lessons. i could tell you about how much i missed them last semester or how much happiness i feel when i hug them for the first time after months of being apart. i could tell you about when i turned 10 my dad sent flowers to school for my birthday and my mom surprised me with a special note in my lunch box (no PB&J that day -- we went out! :)).

i could tell you about the things i have learned from them. when i make pizza for my apartment or come up with some creative craft to do on a saturday night, i know i'm my mother's daughter. she taught me to cook, to take care of people, to be a thrifty shopper at the grocery store and to have fun with paper and stamps and paint. i know when i get excited about school and reading books i'm my father's daughter. he taught me to love reading and learning and how education is something to truly value. he taught me about laughter and that there's no shame in laughing so hard no one can hear what the movie is saying anymore.

i know more about loving others because i watched my parents love and care for me and my sisters. i've watched them let me go and explore new places, and i've watched them welcome me home again. i have watched them work hard and persevere. i have watched them be generous and serve the Lord and listen expectantly to what i am learning and doing and seeing as i grow up.

i am so thankful for them and for the opportunity to be a part of and celebrate their lives.

happy, happy birthday dearest mom and dad!

[sweet] sixteen

[our attempt at touching the golden gate...not so successful.

but in any case, isn't she cute?!?!]

my baby sister turned 16 this past sunday.

crazy.

the only thing i remember about her being born was that when my dad took kels and i to the hospital to meet her and see my mom, my dad accidentally ran over my toe when he was opening the door. therefore, i received more attention than the new baby or my mom as nurses helped me and my wound :)

there are many special things about libby. she is kind, loving, sensitive, caring, funny, has a huge smile & heart, and has a beautiful voice, among many others. i was really bummed to have missed her debut in her high school's production of "Hello Dolly!", but got to see her perform a few times since i've been home and it is SO fun to see her up on stage. she has also been helping leading worship for youth group which is exciting.

i thought about libby a lot while i was in central america because there were panaderias, or little bread stores, on many corners throughout the towns. libby LOVES bread and i thought she would be in heaven with all the different kinds of sweet breads that abounded every where i went. i told this to my host family and since i've talked to them, they keep telling me how they think about libby and want her to visit them and enjoy the panaderias :)

i love this girl a whole bunch and am so blessed to be able to be apart of her 16th birthday celebration!

happy birthday libs!! i love you dearly and am so proud of you!!

for kelsey

This special lady turned 18 a few days ago.

I am blessed to have 2 amazing sisters. They make me laugh and give me such joy every

day. Today I will highlight Miss Kelsey Lynne -- born approximately 2.5 years after me.

Kelsey and I are quite different from each other in many respects:

• she is a procrastinator; i like to get things done early (it freaks me out if i leave it to the last minute -- she thrives on that kind of adrenaline)
• kelsey doesn't care if clothes cover her room; i like to keep things clean & neat
• kbakes is a free spirit; i am much more uptight

and on to some specific "kelsey things" that make her unique & special:

• she loves sports movies, in particular: "Remember the Titans" and "Miracle" .. she actually nicknamed it "RTT"
• she LOVES trader joe's mochi and will send you money any time you go to trader's to get some
• she refuses to cook..although i am sure she would be quite good at it if she tried ;)
• she has the best nicknames for everything
• she knows how to dance and has the best play list on her ipod (i am missing this as i live far away from her - my times at the gym are not the same)

these are some of the funnier things about kbakes/kelbell/sugar bean (yes, her nicknaming skills have rubbed off on me and i have tried to follow suit), but you

also gotta know that she has many remarkable qualities: she is warm & friendly, she loves people and makes them feel comfortable, she is caring and intentional, she is loving and self-sacrificing...and she is a wonderful sister. as we have both gotten older, i have loved having a sister who is also a dear friend...someone who knows me and makes fun of me because she knows all of the weird things i do and loves me despite it all. while i don't think i could ever share a room with her again (our definition of "clean" is rather different), i always look forward to my times with her and my other younger sister as well (yes, libby will get a special post on her birthday too! :))

So, cheers to kelsey moo who is now a legal adult! i love her dearly and am blessed to have her in my life.