a good-bye letter to new england

dear new england,

i'm leaving in one week. the thing that's scariest is that i don't know when i'll be back. with plane tickets ranging around $400 round trip (and that's a good price), and my current un-employed status, it's not looking likely to be soon.

as i begin my trek across the country to the west coast, i want to thank you for so many things. but i can't do that in a blog or even in a letter or poem or something else whimsical and wordy. but i'll do my best as i sit in starbucks, procrastinating with my road trip planning as i sip my blonde roast coffee. by thanking you, i want to remember what i love about you. maybe one of the biggest blessings of college for me was learning to love a place and the people who inhabit it. that place was you, and the people you hold are dear to me - so dear that it hurts to say goodbye. but for now, i'm not going to think about goodbyes, but rather memories and places. i think i can fit those in my tightly-packed honda civic alongside winter clothes and pillows shoved in a cramped back seat. i'll find a way to fit them into my life in california too.

thank you, new england, for whoopie pies -- not the cheap ones at the gas station, but the freshly-baked, freshly-whipped, perfectly sandwiched together, home-made whoopie pies. thank you for sam adams summer ale and friends to drink it with. THANK YOU FOR DUNKIN DONUTS, for teaching me to love iced coffee and to never fret that there will always be a Dunks within walking distance. thank you for apple-cider donuts and fried dough, for lobster, haddock, and clam chowder.

[maine lobster]

thank you for showing me beauty in the places where i run: out in the woods in the middle of fall, through beverly farms en route to the beach in spring and summer, and along my favorite 4-mile loop when the winter weather is above 30 degrees. thank you for the cold mornings in january as the sun rises and there's a hazy fog covering the grass, for the first sound of crickets at night (spring is here!!!), for lightning and thunder, for the phone call at 6:37 am that classes are cancelled because it's snowing.

[house on my favorite 4-mile loop run]

thank you for my rainboots. thank you for the pink checkered and green flower boots that lasted me for 4 years, for all the puddles they've splashed in, for carrying my reluctant feet to the gym when i was determined to exercise, no matter how hard it poured. thank you for the chance to experience summer rain - the huge drops that come out of nowhere and leave before you've had a chance to find an umbrella.

[boston in the rain with abby]

thank you for inviting me to be a part of an anglican church: for the liturgy and bodies turned towards the priest as he reads from the Gospels, for the recitation of prayers. thank you for communion, for teaching me that communion is about receiving a gift, getting on my knees with two hands open, chewing on a wafer after dipping it into wine. thank you for showing me that communion isn't something to fear, but to be enjoyed. sometimes that gift is the only reason i get out of bed and drive down 128 on a sunday morning to church: i want that wafer and wine.

thank you for teaching me that growing up is hard and good all at once: that dealing with car insurance  and credit card balances and plane tickets sucks, but that i can do things i never thought i could. thank you for teaching me about friendship and family, for showing me beauty and grace through people and lectures, through conversations and five-hour study sessions, through coffee which i finally came to love. thank you for being a place to explore with new and old friends -- for campfires by lake winnipesaukee in new hampshire, friday nights in boston carefully scaling the brick sidewalks in high-heels, pre-dinner outings to get ice cream down the road, and slumber parties -- the most fun (with perhaps the least sleep) way to spend a night with good friends and roommates, falling asleep in a cramped bed (or floor -- whichever way works!) after pillow talk and laughing at text messages from boys.

thank you for calling me "sweet-haht" and for making me smile with your accent. thank you for proving the assumption wrong that new englanders are cold-hearted, rather you're "wahm-hahted" and you've become my family.

thank you for being home. and home you'll always be.

love,

alyssa

you don't need a ring to prove you fell in love

[freshmen orientation: august 2008]

I graduated from college this past weekend (...more posts on that big event to come!!), but one of the special highlights from the weekend was getting to read my senior reflection at our Baccalaureate service. 

This is what I shared on Friday night...

~~

At Gordon I have fallen in love. No ring on my finger – just a full heart because of the people and places and books that four years has brought me.

First, I fell in love with studying politics. I entered college with zero interest in politics, but since it was a presidential election year and I wanted to fulfill a core requirement, I enrolled in American National Politics during my first semester at Gordon.  I sat in class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday in Jenks 212, with my purple notebook and mechanical pencil, in a state of terror and fascination: I felt out of place with the politics majors who would say things in class that seemed so brilliant and foreign to me – and my professor talked about ideas I had never heard of before, like pluralism and liberalism and sphere sovereignty. But something happened to me in that class: it didn’t make my decision for the election, but it convinced me that studying politics was something I wanted to do. The following spring I took a leap of faith and marched my nervous feet to the registrar’s office to declare my major. For the next three years I learned about Constitutional law and the Middle East and the influence of religion on international affairs and what Plato was actually talking about in his Republic. I wrote papers that I, at many points along the journey, wanted to rip apart out of frustration and exhaustion, but each of those papers taught me that political systems matter and that studying them prompts me to think about how to pursue justice and peace in a broken world.  

I also fell in love with Boston and New England. I became completely captured by the colors of fall and couldn’t keep my running shoes away from the woods in September and October. I have come to appreciate the little pieces of New England that make it seem more like home to me – the candles in the windows at Christmas, the church buildings with steeples, the small ice cream shops by the beach. And then there’s Boston – I learned to love the rhythm of the commuter rail, the accent I hear as I stroll the city streets. I loved walking through the Common in springtime or driving into the city at night and walking through the rain staring up at the sparkling city lights.

I fell in love with speaking Spanish. Before college, learning Spanish was just a part of fulfilling the foreign language requirement. But after a trip to Guatemala and a semester of Spanish 102, it grew into an interest I wanted to pursue and led me to study abroad in a different part of the world. While abroad I became Alísa, instead of Alyssa. I learned about the language, culture, suffering and beauty of Costa Rica, Nicaragua, and Cuba. And through conversations about theology and poverty and political systems and culture; through tears, language mistakes, laughter, cultural confusions, and so many meals of rice, beans, and plátanos, I discovered that I love a different language and I love learning from the Latin Americans who speak it with me.

I fell in love with people. Relationships happened as we ran together along Grapevine or laughed on the floor of our apartment after a long day, or borrowed each other’s dresses for Gordon Globes or cried together as we shared disappointment, heartache, and fear. When I entered college I thought I was independent, but as each year passed, I realized how dependent I was on these relationships – and how these relationships help me grow and love more deeply.

Relationships also inspired me to learn more deeply. I found myself accustomed to the steep walk up to the third floor of Frost during faculty office hours and would arrive (always!) out of breath and just spill out a hundred questions spinning in my head to one of my professors. And they would listen. They would always listen no matter how many times I bothered them or asked for just one more explanation of what this crazy philosopher was talking about. I fell in love with a process of learning where I am able to ask the hard questions to people who don’t run away from me, but embrace me in their office with an open chair, a crowded bookshelf, piles of papers, and sincere ears to listen.

At Gordon I’ve also learned that this process of loving is the hardest thing I’ll ever do. Relationships expose parts of ourselves you wish you could hide, discovering new places often times takes you away from the people you love, and studying the world challenges the world-view you’ve held all your life and poses questions you don’t want to answer. Falling in love also means that you are called to bear the responsibility of caring for more people and places, more areas of study. Your heart gets bigger as you open yourself to the new adventures and experiences, but the ache grows too. But I have found that the more I fall in love, the more I experience joy, peace, and hope. This transition from Gordon brings with it many questions and uncertainties. And I am clinging to that joy, peace, and hope I have learned through four years of classes, experiences, assignments, and genuine relationships.

I hope that these four years prompts me to live my life in a way where I am always falling in love.

visitors!!

the baker boys treated me this month with visits -- my dad came for a few days two weeks ago and my uncle came last weekend.

 i have learned a bit over the years about being a tour guide and like to take visitors to the "hot spots" :)

dad and i drove around the essex/ipswich area and since my uncle was here longer, we did everything from boston to seeing the minute men to eating the most heavenly coconut-crusted-haddock in gloucester.

 [lexington, ma]

don't i live in such a BEAUTIFUL area??

 fenway park!!

my baseball knowledge is limited (that is giving myself more credit than i deserve). one of my most embarrassing moments in 9th grade refers to my complete ignorance of this game. 

BUT

i love fenway and it makes me want to understand baseball better! (add that to the bucket list!)

i've only been to two games, but it is such a unique atmosphere and even by taking the T in to Kenmore Station, you are absorbed into Boston pride with everyone wearing their Sox attire. it's just a fun place to be

the game was going well...

and then it got really cold.

but we still had a blast :)

i was so blessed by their visits and love showing people my east coast home!

the massachusetts winter....that wasn't

 singing beach, manchester-by-the-sea

 marybeth & i at singing beach

dane street beach, beverly

so remember that post i wrote about having a very difficult time adjusting to massachusetts winter? for some reason right after that post, the winter got quite a bit warmer. and it's honestly been one of the most glorious things i've experienced the past few weeks.

friday afternoon:

took my little bag of M&M's to singing beach in manchester-be-the-sea and walked along the beach while watching the sunset and eating chocolate

saturday afternoon:

coffee at essen with marybeth and then walked along the same beach and watched about 50 dogs running around on the sand chasing each other (made me miss my dog tanya)

sunday morning:

made chocolate-chip pumpkin pancakes with my friend alyssa and took them and freshly brewed coffee to dane street beach and enjoyed the marvelous beauty while indulging in a delicious breakfast.

IN.... FEBRUARY (!!!)

"get outta town!" as my dad would say

i can't explain how excited i get with this winter - i went to the beach and enjoyed climbing on the rocks and smiled so widely to myself, i got sand in my shoes which i usually don't like but i was like "what a great problem to have!!" and any beach view in the morning is one of the most beautiful things you can ever see. 

i am 

so. 

thankful. 

a case of the winter blues

these past few days have been final confirmation that i am not in latin america this semester. no mangoes on the street corners, no warm oceans to swim in, no 45 minute walks in flip flops, and more significantly, no temperatures over 50 degrees.

yep, i am back on the east coast.

today i am writing with an inclination first to complain about this terribly cold weather. so i'll let myself run with that inclination for a few sentences. it's been two years since i lived in a massachusetts winter and i honestly forgot how cold it is out here. it's not just the cold that bites your nose and ears and sometimes makes you want to cry when you see the distance between you and the next door, but it's also the cold that makes your skin so dry and your thin hair go haywire static-y. and sometimes no amount of layering will prepare you for the blustery wind. long underwear doesn't even cut it.

on the other hand...
it's magical. waking up to trees covered in white makes me happy as do rosy pink cheeks and walking in the woods dusted with white. and i feel like an accomplished independent woman now having removed snow off my car for the first time and successfully driving a few miles down the road (granted it was only an inch of snow, but i still feel quite proud).

i become even more grateful for a roof over my head and hot soup and fruit tea in the winter. i can't imagine living on the streets of boston during these chilly days.
so to move my mind from the cold and dry skin, here's a few things i am looking forward to this winter:

-crafts on pintrest (i finally caved...and i love it)
-SOUP ..my mama got me the best soup cookbook + an apron so i am all set
-ice skating
-lazy days like this morning where drinking coffee and watching a movie before 11am is perfectly acceptable
-enjoying my pink fluffy down comforter
-my mittens on a string so i never lose them...a little dorky? yes. but i love 'em.

Loving & Missing

Loving...

Tavilla 202 and the constant joy and fun that is always a happenin' here

cooking my own food (some recipes more delicious than others)

running in the new england sunshine

studying politics again

working with laurie doing student ministries/mentoring stuff

wonderful conversations with incredible and godly people here at gordon

anticipating the beginning of fall colors

fenway part extravaganza!!

Missing:

these two cuties + the 'rents (and of course tanz!)

driving on the 101 in GLO (i really miss having a car)

my extended family...i had some really wonderful times with aunts, uncles, and cousins this summer (from oregon, virginia, and so. cal) and it was such a fun time of fellowship

spinning classes & mornings @ GVAC (we had so much fun with our gym membership this summer--i've never been sweatier before, but it felt great!)

working at maravilla .. i miss talking to the residents

regular conversations with my dad about the wall street journal and other newspaper articles, current events, etc. etc.

decaf coffee dates with my mama