On Learning to Listen

I love spending time with my grandparents. I love letter writing to my grandma up in Oregon and drinking lattes with my Grandma in Orange County and watching my Grandpa laugh at Kelsey's jokes. They're really special people. They make me laugh and smile and have a way about about them that's different than anyone else I know. 

We spent Thanksgiving with my grandparents in Orange County this past week and I had a conversation with my grandpa that really struck me and continues to be on my heart and mind.

Grandpa and I were in the kitchen, or somewhere else in the house, and he looked at me and told me about his conversation with a colleague earlier that morning. He said:

"I realized as I was talking to her how differently she is thinking about this situation. Her perspective is different from mine. I wish, Alyssa, that we could have talked during the election because it's interesting to hear from people who think differently from me."

My grandfather is in his 80s. How many 80-somethings do you know who would say something like this to their granddaughter? My grandfather is very well-educated not only academically, but as a father, mentor, business leader and advisor. He's done a lot of cool things and met some awesome people and has great stories to prove it. And for some reason, he wanted to know what this young and inexperienced 22-year-old thought.

Wow.

I think the idea of elephant ears is usually attached to eavesdropping....but I'm changing it because I love elephants and I think their ears are cute and huge which is a perfect illustration. I'm inspired this week to have elephant ears like my grandpa does. Ears that are big and want to listen earnestly. Ears that want to be taught by those who think differently.

I think my age group and my grandpa's age group might have the hardest time listening. When you're in your 80s you've held many jobs and voted in countless elections and seen or fought in wars. You've watched a lot of babies grow up and you've been to a lot of funerals too. You've shared a lot of joy and endured great heartache. You've seen a lot and learned a lot and you're pretty content with that knowledge quota.

And us early 20-year-olds? We're a bit smart-assy. We just graduated college and studied abroad and took classes about world development and gender issues and political systems. We lived on our own and made good and bad choices and endured the consequences. We get it and we're ready to conquer the world - no more listening required.

My grandpa has seen a lot. But he's still eager to listen.
And I want to follow in that example of seeking to listen and learn from others who are different from me - others who are older than me or who voted very differently than I did. That's so much easier said than done...sometimes that listening involves patience through long ramblings, sometimes it involves ideas that I find completely crazy, and sometimes it involves a lot of courage, especially when those ideas sound a bit strange and scary.

I'm so thankful for my grandpa's big listening ears and I hope that I learn to hear in the same way.