life-long learning

i walked up to her office door on the third floor of frost, clutching the computer where i had just typed quotes that shook me, and the book (whose quotes i had typed furiously) sitting on top. i walked into her office and i just started to talk -- i don't ever seem to have hesitancy in that arena. when i'm that invested in something words just seem to pour out.

"dr. george, i don't know what to think about this. this is changing the way i think! the way i think about singleness and marriage and femininity and masculinity and my value as a woman and who i am and what society thinks of me and, and, and ..." the words bubble over.

and she looked at me in her chair and said words to me in her beautiful British accent. she nodded and told me stories and lessons about culture and society and this thing called paradigm shifts.

i'm scared of losing the love for books, for ideas that make me stay up late at night, for conversations that make me smile wide.

but i guess i shouldn't be fearing that. you see, i found that book (the one i took up to my professor's office) at a small bookstore in boston. my friend and i were purusing the book shelves and i stumbled upon it, flipped through a few pages and was fascinated by the author's frank discussion about weddings and bachelorette parties and what being a bride and groom signifies. so i bought it and read it and haven't stopped talking about it since.

i'm not a college student anymore, but i hope to always be a student in some capacity. and maybe one day, i can be a teacher too. i can have a bedroom or office where people come to me bursting with confusion and eagerness about books and ideas. and we can be confused and eager together. i can look in their eyes and smile and say "me too! i'm excited too!" and we can drink coffee or tea and share stories and ideas and lessons.

i hope to always discover things - the big and small. i hope to always leave crazy voice mail messages on my friends' phones that go like this "LISA THIS BOOK IS BLOWING MY MIND! YOU HAVE TO READ THIS! IT'S SO INCREDIBLY GOOD!" and i hope to always sit at the dinner table with my dad and talk about the newspaper and those articles he clipped out and places in his basket next to the computer.

i'm hoping school is closer than it feels. and i'm hoping to always be a life-long learner, no matter if i'm taking 16 credits or zero.