mildly freaking out

i leave in 2 weeks and while the christmas break usually excites me, this year i just want time to slooooow down. i am leaving gordon not for a short 3-5 week break. i am leaving gordon for 8 months.

holy CRAP

i sat in my politics of the developing world class this morning and almost cried because as excited as i am for the opportunity to study abroad, i am really going to miss this place that has become like home to me. but what is also scary is the fact that when i get back in the fall, certain special people won't be there anymore and things will be different (like they always are). change is inevitable, but it's also scary and i don't feel ready for this kind of change.

it takes me awhile to adjust to things, and i feel like it takes me almost a whole semester to feel rooted and at home, and then i get on a plane to go to the next place. i guess that is what life is supposed to be like though, because you learn and grow the most when you are not in a constant state of comfort.

but i want comfort! i want my current friends, i want my gordon professors, i want to cook for myself, to go to the gym when it works with my schedule, to be able to call my mom whenever i need and watch the tulips bud and crocusses bloom when springtime comes.

next semester will be challenging: making new friends, learning from various instructors/teachers/professors who don't know me and i don't know them, eating and drinking food i am not familiar with and not having the freedom to cook whatever i feel like. i probably won't be exercising a whole lot and i won't be able to call my mom whenever i feel like it. and i will miss galloping across the quad celebrating the east coast spring

while all of those things are true, i have to believe that there are great things in store for me (for us!!) wherever God leads us and he is faithful to provide. yes, it's going to take me awhile to adjust to life in latin america. i'm going to be frustrated, tired, and long for home and my friends and family. i'm going to miss them greatly. but i hope and pray that the experience will be worth it. that it will teach me so much and that when i come back home (home home and gordon home) i will be able to "come home rejoicing: at the wonders he has shown me" (common book of prayer) and i hope to welcome my friends and family with many hugs and hear their rejoicing at the wonders he has shown them.